Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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