why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize