My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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