Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
