He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
