masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
