Where is the hickey?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
