just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
