Already got asked if we're dating
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Blood and glitter go together right?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
