Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The Olympian is in my bed
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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