shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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