Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
