These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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