Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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