I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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