my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
