he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
