my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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