There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just want to make out with him forever
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
