Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
