WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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