I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
