i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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