It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
