I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
