Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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