I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
