I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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