I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
