If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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