I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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