i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize