He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
