She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He better not be in your backpack
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
