So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
