The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
