I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
