that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize