First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
