Sry I called you an 8
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
