and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
