I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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