it was like having sex with a tree stump
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
