Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
