I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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