oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
