So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
