I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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