we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
