Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
