Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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