# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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