Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
