Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize