I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
