i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
