What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Randomize