You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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