shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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