Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
